


On Goodbyes

by Haely_Potter



Series: Bending the Universe [4]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2013-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 16:26:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haely_Potter/pseuds/Haely_Potter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor doesn't do goodbyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Goodbyes

River is right, the Doctor doesn't like endings or do goodbyes. He does everything he can not to look back at his old companions, assistants, _friends_ , because he can't stand the thought of them not being there. If he doesn't see them age and die, they'll always be there.

Like Sarah Jane. He'd left her centuries ago and then met her again, still capable of running and solving mysteries and investigating.

Jack he'd never really have to say goodbye to, he's already said them to the Face of Boe billions of years in the future, but being close to him hurts. Not just because he's uncomfortable being close to fixed points but because of the memories associated with him. He was the permanent reminder of her, always would be.

Her. The one person he'd said proper goodbye to. Not once, but twice. Once by burning up a sun, the second time before she even knew who he was.

He hadn't even said proper goodbye to his wife. Yes, he'd taken her to Darillium and the Singing Towers and had known it to be goodbye but he hadn't said it because in a way, it was a "Hello" since the circular paradox would begin (again) on their next meeting.

But her. She'd always be alive because there was no way for him to find out she'd died, he cannot stumble to her grave, cannot go to her funeral, cannot hear that he ran out of time (again). Until he dies there is a chance he might see her again, accidentally, in the past or by stumbling into her universe (it had never really been Pete's world to him, it had always been her universe since Canary Wharf) but he won't actively seek her out (not after the heart break he felt, helping her with her homework, ten years before she met him properly, besides, if he visited her more, there was always the chance of something dangerous happening and he couldn't endanger her, anyone but her).

Every 365 days though, on their anniversary according to Earth count, he doesn't answer the Ponds and River and Clara's summons. Rather, he locks himself tightly into the TARDIS and remembers her, counting the years he's known her. Not that it's hard. Any time he could tell you how long he's known her, how long it's been since the word "run" in the basement of a department store, down to the second. By the time Clara told him about her conference call with madam Vastra, Jenny, Strax and River, he'd known her for 383 years, 4 months, 29 days, 12 hours, 57 minutes and 41 seconds. She'd traveled with him for 2 years, 3 months, 6 days, 19 hours, 15 minutes and 2 seconds between "Did I mention it also travels in time?" and Pete catching her right before the Void could suck her in. He still treasures every second of it. He had an extra hour, 49 minutes and 42 seconds with her when she came back to warn him about the stars going out. Then, breaking his own hearts, he'd left her with the metacrisis. He didn't really count that one-and-a-half minutes, saying goodbye to her right before regenerating because their interaction hadn't been of the-Doctor-and-Rose-Tyler variety but more generic, between strangers (even if she wasn't a stranger to him).

The Doctor doesn't say goodbye often, and only for one person he has done it without prompting (from either the person he's saying goodbye to or someone else). Her name is Rose Tyler, the one the Doctor gave up but can never pretend to forget.


End file.
